she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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