Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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