somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
