that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Randomize
