after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
