Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
