how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
