That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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