got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
