You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
