also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
