why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
