You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
