it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
