I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
