Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
