She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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