well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
