Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
