is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
