He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
