Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
