remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
