there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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