Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
