they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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