I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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