Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
