1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
