i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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