I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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