i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
she told me i tasted like america
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Randomize
