belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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