is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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