I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
