we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
