Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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