It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
