I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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