Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
