I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
