1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize