he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
foreskin is a definite game changer
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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