I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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