I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
