I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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