he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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