Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
