just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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