I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
