I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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