Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My room smells like vodka and shame
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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