she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
