all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
