Buhtt sex?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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